Monday, November 15, 2010

Doing nothing all day takes up all of my time.

Wynne is 6 weeks old today, which both seems impossible and like it took forever. Currently she's hanging out with her Gigi while I pump. Most things I've read say you should pump for 15-20 minutes, but I find that milk is still coming (in tiny dribs; I rarely make more than 1.5 ounces per pumping session), so I usually pump for 30 minutes. It's no fun. It's mighty uncomfortable, and I'm tied down to one spot the whole time, unable to cook or clean or shower or even change positions, and I have to do it sitting up, otherwise the milk leaks everywhere and all is lost, and we're making do with a fairly old futon as our primary seating. It really doesn't offer a lot of support. And worst of all, I can't really hold the baby while I'm pumping, so I have to hand her off (often for a feeding, so someone else has to feed and burp her) and then she'll get comfortable and fall asleep, so I can't hang out with her again for a long time after I'm done cause I don't want to risk waking her up. I do not miss the agonies of nursing, but oh what I would give not to have to spend 4 hours per day pumping (to say nothing of the storage and clean-up afterwords). And we're still having to supplement with formula cause I don't make enough. I know it sounds awful to complain that I'm able to give my baby ANY breastmilk, cause I'm sure if I couldn't I would be furious with anyone who griped about it, but this is my situation and I am just saying, it wears me down. I can't help thinking every time I hook up the stupid pump that it would be so nice if all I had to do was pull up my shirt or mix up formula bottles when it was time for Wynne to eat. I'll keep pumping as long as I can, but I am not gonna be sorry when it's over. It's so good that babies are adorable, because some of the stuff I have to do for one is NOT cute at all. Wet and dirty diapers don't bother me, and I don't care when she spits up all down my arm when I'm trying to burp her (this is a feat, by the way. who knew? it sounds so simple in theory, but babies fling their little bodies all over creation and two hands is simply too few), but the lack of sleep is really catching up to me. I get pretty upset over what I know are actually very small things, and I have to really concentrate on enjoying middle of the night feedings instead of feeling sorry for myself for being awake and only having gotten two hours of sleep. Again, it's a well thought-out system, cause the middle of the night feeding is when she does the most smiling. This week her smiles are seeming more deliberate and intentional, rather than just those little sleep smiles we were getting before. I can't WAIT for my mama to see them when we go back for Thanksgiving. She will just melt.

Here's a picture of her in a precious pea pod outfit that Gigi made her. Tell me I don't have the cutest baby in the land.


At some point I'd like to write about all the baby gear we've found really helpful. Perhaps I'll get around to it before SHE has a baby. But no promises.

4 comments:

longbrakeliving said...

"babies fling their little bodies all over creation and two hands is simply too few." AMEN!!

No, you don't have the cutest baby in the land - I DO! But you do have the cutest 6-week old baby in the land!

And you know I hear you on the pumping stuff. I do.not.miss.it. Not even a tiny, little bit. I actually saw a picture of how many bottles I used to have to wash, multiple times a day, and I wanted to cry just thinking about it. Also, I will not say you shouldn't complain. Frankly, I think Mamas who pump AND bottle feed have the hardest go, just in terms of time. Also, be glad Gigi is around to hold her! The worst is when no one is around, the baby is screaming, and you're just holding these plastic things to your boobs, unable to do anything, oh, and then someone knocks at the door because your dog is running away. And all you can do is sit there with your plastic things on your boobs. Not that I have any personal experience with this.

Erin said...

OHMAIGAH SHE IS SO PRESHUS.

Ahem.

Alison said...

Hey Mama! Reading how you're feeling just reminds me of the chaos that will be my life again in a few months! I'm sure your Doc has told you this, or perhaps you've read it somewhere, but when I was having trouble producing enough milk for Chloe, my Doctor reminded me to be sure to stay very hydrated, eat lots of little meals throughout the day, and try fenugreek supplements. I got them at a local health food store, and it helped a lot. If you do decide to try this, get it in a pill form the seeds are pretty bitter! I didn't have to take it for very long, once my milk production got going. Just a suggestion. :) Your sweet Miss Wynne is absolutely precious! and that pea pod sweater-deal is adorable!! Much love,
Alison

I'm Erin. said...

Hang in there, it gets easier.

And then harder.

And then easier.

Well, pretty much like that from birth through age 5. I cannot verify past that, but I think it will be more of the same.

But at least you'll be getting more sleep! And it's easier to deal with harder when you've slept.