Yesterday I spent an hour and ten minutes listening to Alex and Gus demonstrate all the ways I will now be able to utilize their company's econometrics services. Don't ask me what those are, because all I can tell you is that this job gets further and further over my head with every passing day. I had to log in to a training seminar online where my screen became Alex/Gus's, and I had to call in to the company to get the accompanying audio, so they could show me around the wonderful world of economic forecasting. And if that doesn't sound like a keen way to spend 70 minutes, I don't know what does. Nevermind that for the most part, I had no idea what anyone was doing or saying, and about twenty minutes in my stomach started growling so bad that I had to mute my phone so I could eat my almonds without everyone hearing. Almonds: not the best idea for people who need to be stealthy.
Then after work I went home and cried over how much weight I haven't lost. I just don't understand how I can eat as much bread and cheese and consume as many empty carbohydrates and diet Cokes as I do and not lose any weight. Clearly I should have asked Alex or Gus for a quick nutrition lesson while I had them. Anyway I resolved to get my act together and quit messing around at meal times. I haven't earned myself those 30 tortilla chips just because the bathroom is on the opposite side of the building from my office and I walk to it quickly. So for dinner I ate a salad and a bowl of vegetable soup. And only 1.5 croutons and 4 of Mike's chips. And a little piece of bread to get rid of the weird taste that those croutons left in of my mouth. Leading me to believe that all of the carbs have banded together and crafted some sort of elaborate plan for how to do me in.
Aaaaand my coworker just brought me some bread.